What uni students wish their parents knew before they started university

Starting university is a big milestone, and you might be wondering how best to support your child through the transition.

How much should you help? When should you step back? And do you need to know more about courses, applications and university life?

We asked three UTS students what they wish their parents had known before they started university, and what kind of support made the biggest difference.

Bella Good

Looking back, what do you wish your parents had known when you were preparing for university?

I wish my parents had known how nervous and unsure I was still feeling. Although I had a rough idea of my interests and knew I wanted to go to university, I was nervous about finding where I fit in socially as well as if the degree I had chosen was even the right one for me.

What do you wish your parents had helped you with more during that time?

I would have appreciated more help setting up a dedicated study space outside of my room, and checking up on me now and then - not assuming that I was struggling, but just having someone to keep me accountable whilst I transitioned to the independence of university.

When it came to choosing a course or university, what kind of support from your parents was most helpful?

I loved it when my parents were simply there - for me to talk to them about all the thoughts and feelings I had. I enjoyed how engaged they were in my selection of courses, and they never doubted my ability to both do my selected degree and to complete the requirements (ie: my HSC score) to undertake the degree I was interested in.

Was there anything your parents worried about or focused on that turned out to be less important than they thought?

My parents thought that it would be too difficult and stressful for me to be a full-time student while having multiple extracurriculars like the UTS Jazz Band, UTS Elite Cheerleading and multiple casual jobs, as well as pursuing my personal research interests and growing my social life.

However, we found that, similar to in high school, when I fill my time outside of uni with activities that I'm passionate about, I actually feel more energised and motivated for my degree. Rather than taking away from my studies or overwhelming me, these activities actually gave me amazing uni-life balance and helped me to experience university the way I had always dreamed of.

If you could give parents one piece of advice about supporting their child before university, what would it be?

Listen to them, hear their needs and help them wherever you can. Be curious about their degree with them – even if you're secretly not!

Methmi Samarajeewa 

Looking back, what do you wish your parents had known when you were preparing for university?

I wish my parents had known that starting university is about much more than studying. It is a period of becoming independent, discovering yourself and learning to make your own decisions. For me, this was an even bigger transition because I moved from Sri Lanka to Australia and began university in a completely new country. There were exciting moments, but also times when I felt uncertain or homesick. My parents understood that I didn’t always need them to solve a problem, sometimes I simply needed to know they believed in me.

What do you wish your parents had helped you with more during that time?

I was very fortunate to have incredibly supportive parents who helped me both financially and emotionally throughout my journey. They were always there when I needed them, even from thousands of kilometres away. If there was anything I could have benefited from, it would have been having more conversations about the everyday realities of living independently, managing time, balancing study, work and personal life, and looking after myself. But I also think learning these things independently is an important part of growing up.

When it came to choosing a course or university, what kind of support from your parents was most helpful?

The most valuable support was their trust. They listened to what I wanted for my future and encouraged me to make a decision based on my interests, strengths and goals. They never made me feel that there was only one definition of success. Their encouragement gave me the confidence to pursue engineering and eventually graduate from UTS with First Class Honours. I think every student benefits when their parents are there to guide them without taking away their ability to choose for themselves.

Was there anything your parents worried about or focused on that turned out to be less important than they thought?

My parents naturally worried about me moving to another country and managing everything independently. Looking back, some of the things that seemed daunting at the beginning became opportunities for growth.

University is not only about getting everything right; it is about meeting new people, making mistakes, overcoming challenges and becoming more confident in yourself. Those experiences taught me things that I could never have learned from a textbook.

If you could give parents one piece of advice about supporting their child before university, what would it be?

Trust your child, believe in them and be their safe place. Every student’s university journey will look different, and parents cannot always be there to solve every problem.

What they can provide is encouragement, understanding and the confidence to know that someone is always in their corner. For me, having supportive parents who believed in me gave me the courage to leave my home country, build a new life in Australia and pursue my goals.

I think that is something every student can benefit from. Knowing that no matter how far they go or how challenging things become, their parents are proud of them and believe they are capable of finding their own way.

Saba Pogalva

Looking back, what do you wish your parents had known when you were preparing for university?

I wish my parents had known a bit more about admission into university, and how university and UAC work in NSW. For me, choosing a university was something I had to do myself, as my parents at that time didn't know much about different universities in Sydney and which one would align best with my interests and study areas. Regarding getting in, that was also something I had to explore myself, as the only exposure I had was my high school, which wasn't very much as a year 12 student from a small school.

What do you wish your parents had helped you with more during that time?

I think it would've been great if my parents could've helped me more with choosing a university. They helped me as much as they could, but again it was just an opinion we could make based on the limited exposure we had at the time.

When it came to choosing a course or university, what kind of support from your parents was most helpful?

When it came to choosing a degree or a university, although my parents didn't have much knowledge about the different options in Sydney, they supported me with whatever choice I made and were always open to all the different options I had researched. This was very valuable, as it gave me room to look into some of my interests and explore multiple options, rather than being limited to what they wanted. 

Was there anything your parents worried about or focused on that turned out to be less important than they thought?

Looking back now, the funny thing was that one of the things we were really worried about was how to apply for a HECS loan for my studies. Thankfully enough, the steps were so simple, and embedded within the enrolment process through UTS, so we didn't have to worry about that at all.

If you could give parents one piece of advice about supporting their child before university, what would it be?

If there's one piece of advice I'd give any parent regarding their child's studies, it would be to always support them in what they are passionate about or want to explore. I've noticed that because my parents gave me the choice to explore what I wanted to study, I was able to choose a degree that I enjoy and do well in!

Need more guidance?

For more practical tips on applications, course preferences and preparing for uni, read Your child is applying for university. What do you need to know?.