FASS Writing Alum Tracy Ellis on her Calibre Essay win
Creative Writing alum Tracy Ellis has been awarded the 2023 Calibre Essay Prize for her essay ‘Flow States’.
The Calibre Essay Prize is awarded by The Australian Book Review (ABR), for a non-fiction essay between 2000 and 5000 words. Now in its 17th year, the prize was first awarded in 2007 to Elisabeth Holdsworth for ‘An die Nachgeborenen: For Those Who Come After’.
Tracy won out over a competitive field of almost 400 entries, with the runner-up awarded to Bridget Vincent for ‘Child Adjacent’.
‘Flow States’, described by the ABR as “part memoir, part cultural history, and part solastalgic elegy” focuses initially on a single drop of water from a household tap.
We asked Tracy about her writing, her time at UTS, and her advice for aspiring writers.
Can you tell us a little about your essay and the writing process?
Flow States is broadly about water, life, family and the environment. I wrote the first draft as part of my Masters at UTS in a class with Delia Falconer after reading about longwall coalmining in Sydney’s water catchment and CSG exploration in the Pilliga above the Great Artesian Basin. I watched a lot of depressing videos about CSG and people in the US who can’t drink the water from their taps anymore due to contamination. I initially called it Hauling Water, which is the reality for a lot of people, and not just in third world countries. Then Delia brought in guest lecturer Christine Piper, who was studying the state of flow in work and creativity, and I took the name 'Flow States' from that, and the essay sort of changed direction and became more personal. The version that won the Calibre is an excerpt of a much bigger piece, but the essence is about taking things for granted and time catching up with you.
Photo provided by Tracy Ellis
Can you talk about your time at UTS?
I romanticise uni a bit – I recognise that it’s a privilege to study, and I really enjoyed just being on campus and in classrooms. When I started my Masters I thought I might manage two or three subjects a semester, but ended up dropping down to one. Apart from the demands of work and life, I wanted to absorb all the readings, take my time with the assignments and not rush. I truly was more interested in learning than finishing.
I went home from most of my classes in the evenings feeling kind of high, but there was also usually a time in the middle of each subject or semester when I would have a slump or a disappointment or a difficult class and be full of self-doubt.
I was attracted to UTS by the staff, and the fact that they were actual writers and I’d read books by most of them. I was lucky to do the course when I did, with teachers like Delia, John Dale, Debra Adelaide, Anthony Macris and Gabrielle Carey. I was devastated to hear about Gabrielle’s death. She had recommended a Claire Keegan workshop to the class I was in, which I ended up doing, and then another because I learnt so much from the first, so I’m eternally grateful to Carey for that. I did write to her last year and tell her, and I’m glad we had that exchange at least, but it’s just so sad, and I’ve struggled with a sense of futility about writing since hearing of her death.
Are there essayists that inspire you?
You know how Lana Del Rey has Billie and Nina tattooed on her collarbone? I’d probably get Didion and Garner. I’ve also always loved Tim Winton’s non-fiction (as well as his fiction).
Some more recent books I’ve loved have been Jia Tolentino’s Trick Mirror, Fiona Wright’s two books, Anwen Crawford’s No Document, Sally Olds’ People Who Lunch, Deborah Levy’s Real Estate and The Cost of Living, Johnathan Franzen’s Discomfort Zone (for the background it gives to Crossroads).
I read Delia’s 'The Opposite of Glamour' essay while in her class and realised that I was writing in her wake. Signs and Wonders was also a beautiful and sad love song to the planet. I went to see Jenny Odell speak last night and really admire her take on technology. A single essay that is close to my heart is Gillian Mears’ 'Alive in Ant and Bee', which I read many years ago. And I first discovered Tony Birch’s writing while at UTS, which I also love. Like Winton, he evokes time and place beautifully but tells a story very plainly, which makes it very moving. As Claire Keegan would say, "Plain is a compliment".
What does winning this award, and being the first recipient of both the Calibre Essay Prize and the Elizabeth Jolley Short Story Award, mean to you?
So many emotions. It was very encouraging, shocking, and also a relief – just to get a little recognition after years of work and know it’s not for nothing. There’s also a bit of an anti-climax because after a week or so it’s back to normal. There is a bit of pressure that comes with the prize, too – a lot of successful Calibre alumni. Both awards have opened doors to a couple of publishers.
I know the writer’s life is not typically full of such recognition and reward, so I’m trying to enjoy the moment.
What would you say to students interested in pursuing writing, editing and publishing careers?
I am at heart an idealist and I didn’t go back to do my MA with the goal of forging a career in publishing; I went to learn about writing from actual writers, and I kind of wish that maybe there was an opportunity with an IOWA-workshop-type intensity, or just something that was all art for art’s sake, not ‘what job can I get at the end of this course’.
But, on the practical side, I do get quite passionate about the craft of editing, both my own words and other writers’ – it’s probably my favourite part of the writing process, and a very important skill for a writer to develop.
So, to your question, my advice to students would be to decide early on whether you want to be a writer or work in publishing, and if you want to be a writer, don’t get pushed into publishing – don’t be sensible, for god’s sake – don’t talk yourself into anything.
Pick your elective subjects based on your passion and interest, but maybe do the editing subject either way. I’m not sure who’s teaching it now but I know it has previously been taught by great teachers such as Rowena Lennox and Bernadette Foley, and it will give you very valuable tools for either path.
